Wherever you are...There you are.

I opened up the old blog just for the heck of it.  Knowing where you're coming from is half the battle of preparing for your future, but I just wondered...what about knowing where you are now and in the past recent months?

Where I am right now isn't where I was 6 months ago.  But it's also not where I'm going to be 6 months from now.  It's just here.  In the middle.    It's always so weird to be living right in the middle of your life.  I remember having that thought in Peru.   When you're at that point where you're somewhat comfortable with your surroundings, but at the same time, you're very aware that your surroundings aren't completely comfortable yet.

I'm definitely in a transition period right now.   Still transitioning to the states (though not nearly as much as before) getting ready to transition into marriage, into a completely new life.   And I'm just fine with that transition.  Just interested to know where and how exactly I'm transitioning.


There's at least one time every couple of weeks that I just stop and think..."What am I doing here?  I mean...I know I'm here, and I know I've got this life here, but really...what am I doing?'

Should I be doing more? Should I be doing less? Should I be doing different? Should I do the same?  It's sort of a feeling of walking through a corn maze...or any maze for that matter.  You can get in there, and you know your basic goal is to get to the end.  You have all the supposed tools you need (i.e. your feet to walk) and all you have to do is find your way out.  So you start, and you know as long as you keep walking, you're not really messing up the process.   But the more turns you take, the more lost you get, the more time you spend in the maze, you begin to realize..you know what? There's not really a logical way that I can find my way out.  There's no knowledge or strength that I can rely on to get me out of here faster.  All I can do is not make the same wrong turns twice.

But for all intents and purposes, you're walking blindly.  All you can do is keeping walking and hope the victory of finding the end comes sooner rather than later.

So...Here I am.